{In the days of Facebook and Insta~Life}

There's days when you wonder if you're coping well, like most human beings would, or if you're emotions and and inner voices are being their dependable, over sensitive, dramatic, exaggerating selves.

Somethings seem to have hit me harder than I would've ever had guessed.  Too hard.  Things I'm stuck on, and no matter what seem to have a death grip on how I behave from that moment on.  Even though I'm positive I'm insane for clenching to those events.  Like when the phone rings at uncommon times, my heart instantly hits my toes, because I can't forget a single instance in my life, which only seems like yesterday.  

I am 100% percent a sensitive, over-feeling individual.  Don't tell me not to take it personal because I can promise you I've already thought of 5 novels worth of ideas on how it is personal, whatever "it" may be.  Not in the, "Hey! Look at me!!!" way, but in the, "I know I did that wrong, somehow, I must be to blame, and I know I must fix it, yesterday!" way.  My inner voices have complexes, and I'll blame it all on them.

That's just me.  

With age, as young as I still am (and I swear most days I'm positive I'm still only 16, and not sure why everyone claims I'm an adult), I've been trying to adjust my filters and buttons.  Learning to fight only the battles that are worth fighting, learning that people most likely will never change unless they hit rock bottom, or experience a life changing, touch from God (or whom ever they claim it to be).  I've learned a lot in just the past few years.  Realizing that we all have a form of PTS inside of our hearts.  Learning we all have our triggers, sounds that make us clench, words that stab...While some of us function normally everyday, and some need all the help they can muster to walk out the door... The level of hurt does not cancel out someone else's level of hurt.  Your opinion of someone's struggle does not change how hard their struggle is to them.  Obviously, or I could heal every wounded soul in this nation, just by saying, "You know, it could've been worse."  Pain is still pain. 

I've been shying away from social media more and more lately.  The internet is so thick of hate and judgement. and people's very own skin, hearts, and souls are seeming to grow more and more blind to their own actions.  I almost miss the days when there was no such thing as internet and social media.  Especially the past 2 weeks.  Perhaps it's my thin skin, perhaps it's not.

We're all so busy, so absent minded, unless Facebook sends a notification to our phones, we forget everything.  Edicate seems to have been redefined.  Friendships weak, and only the best snapchats saved in our timelines.  It's easy to push aside those who don't fit into our bullet planners.  

Or maybe it's all in my mind...

Except for this week, as I was fretting about a scheduled test for non-ending stomach troubles.   I learned my baby cousin died from cancer.  How did I find out?  You guessed it, Facebook.  Were we super close, no.  I won't even lie that we had some great relationship, where we chatted for hours, and knew each other like sisters or best friends.  Did I care and love her?  With every ounce of my soul.  No matter what, if you are my blood, you are my everything.  And her extremely horrible, tragic, early death left me just as heartbroken as anyone I've lost.  Learning about it via someone's status update was even worse. I dare say Heartless and Selfish. When did this become the norm?

Again, maybe it's me being over sensitive.  But it's like pouring your heart out and getting a "like" and nothing else.  

We can't even spare the time to type words anymore.  

I'm not innocent from being too busy towards those I call friends.  I am just as flawed as the next person if not more.  And maybe this is where society is breaking apart.  And maybe this is where we can change it.  More words.  More honest understanding.  More thought.  Less comparing.  Less judging.  Less busy.  More real life, less snapshots.  Less followers, and more friends.  Less likes, and more real emotions.  More family.  More values.  Less fads.  

Less lonely souls in a crowded and hectic world.  

More anything real.  Slow.  Honest.  True.

And to my kid cousin.  Thanks for watching over us this week.  <3  

~Emily

{Notes from a Friend} Book Review

If you haven't noticed I've been big into personal development books lately.  I suppose it has a lot to do with all the bad in the news, on the internet... ending my day with some encouragement and affirmations has been something I've grown to look forward to, rather than a thriller, or heartbreak, or murder mystery.  I need all the hope and confidence I can some days, I'm sure others can agree.

I also tend to find an author I like and stick with them, and Tony Robbins is turning into one of those authors.  I'm sure you've heard of him, he has tons of books, television shows, pod casts, apps, and so forth.  For me he's easy to listen to, and doesn't spend a lot of time on mumbo jumbo stuff that I have a hard time believing in.  (I am the queen skeptic about a lot of things, and it's only getting worse as I grow older.)

Notes from a Friend, by Tony Robbins, is a condensed version of a few of his best selling works.  Cliff notes of personal development if you would.  So if you've read his writings before, many of the ideas will be a repeat... I'm not so sure anyone would mind though.  This book moves fast, and is a very easy read, a great starter book into the world of personal development.  He touches on our beliefs, and motivations, why some succeed and others don't, and why you can succeed as well.  He shares about many who started with nothing, and became more than they could've ever imagined.

What this book isn't is your complete how to change your life guide from step A to step Z.  Again, think cliff notes.  His other books go into much greater detail, and much more into depth as to why somethings work, and somethings do not.  That said, it still motivates, and get's the reader thinking.

Go check it out, even if you've read his other books, it's a great refresher course.  And I'd even recommend Notes from a Friend for those in college or entering a new career, like the pep talk we all need from time to time.  Or if you're just simply looking for more in life, anything Tony Robbins writes is pretty much for you.  Trust me here.

Tip of the day:
Always read personal development books at least twice.  The good ones, who grab at our hearts, and fill our wins with air sort of speak, are so jammed packed full of great information most of it struggles to sink in the first time or two we read through.  Life is always changing, give yourself the time to read through moving pieces more than once before you set it aside.  <3

~Emily